Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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