Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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