We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
