I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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