They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
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Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
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Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize