just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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