wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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