You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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