it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize