Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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