It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
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I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
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My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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