Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
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You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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