I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize