So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize