we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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