So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize