i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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