Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
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You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize