Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
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The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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