did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize