That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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