she looked like the before picture.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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