Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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