Can Purell be used as lube?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize