Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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