I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize