Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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