Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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