You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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