So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize