I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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