i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
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We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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