You just made me feel so damn special
i think i have herpe
just one?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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