Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize