Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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