Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize