I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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