I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize