This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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