I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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