remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize