It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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