i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize