Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's never too late to be topless.
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I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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