dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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