I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
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I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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