Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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