rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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