i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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