Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize